It’s the middle of the night. My eyes are wide open, unblinking, in the dark of my bedroom. My breaths are quickened, up near my collarbone, not the deep breaths from the core that come from peace and contentment. I’m thinking about that one that wounded me, so long ago. It comes up from time to time, more often than I realize, or want to admit. What keeps me up at night are… words. Words, words, and more words. Ones that were said to me, ones that were never said but I wish I had heard, ones that I keep saying over and over to an empty void that was the space that person once held, and held for a long time. What I want to say, or the questions still unanswered, ruminate through my brain, creating scenarios that will never or can never take place.
Does this resonate with you? Your person may be a family member, or a friend. Your person may be alive, or not. Your person may be within reach, or can never be within reach again. Your person may have wounded you, or you were the one who did the wounding. Or both on that one. Many times, it’s both. Right?
Sometimes we don’t recognize this as grief. We think missing the person, or missing a future with the person, is the grief in its entirety. Yet I have come to know that a very challenging strain of mourning that often goes unrecognized is “undelivered communications.” That is, those truths we wish had been fully shared between us. It’s hard enough missing what we once had or what we planned to have with a person ~ or what we expected to have but never, ever got ~ but the added angst of unsaid words creates a hard and ongoing layer to our sorrow. We don’t have the option to *just miss* that person, because we have those unresolved feelings attached to what we wished was said and truly understood.
The Grief Recovery Method is an educational tool that helps us learn how to recognize those losses in our life that have had an intense and lasting impact, and then safely bring them to the surface. We talk about those words. We work with those words.
I attended the eight GRM sessions for the first time six years ago. I am now trained as a specialist to teach the method to others. With every personal loss and sadness that I’ve brought through the process, I have experienced a peace, as this method guides me to release words that were attached to my mind, my body, my spirit. I did the work, I followed the guidelines, and each time I finished feeling lighter, more equipped, steadier, different. It brings understanding and completion that wasn’t there before. That heals.
I offer both group and individual options. While I’m required to list the Grief Recovery Institute costs, please ask me for my special rates if you are interested in learning more.
The rest of your life is valuable. How do you want to feel?
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